Epiphanies

Transformus this year was an amazing time for me and I feel as though I came through it as a different person, transformed.

I came to realize that there are many times when I envy other people their ability to be entertaining and the center of attention-- to be so socially at ease. Or to be always on top of things and productive. But I shouldn't envy them, because those qualities have a downside as well. Those entertaining people are often craving the attention, and need it to feel complete. Those super productive people often don't have the capacity to sit back and enjoy the smaller things in life, or to simply just relax.

I also did a labyrinth that was profound to me. It was a path you took that ended at a fire where you burned a piece of paper that you endowed with your wishes. You then followed the same path back out. The path seemed to spiral closer to the middle, but there were often times where it actually took you further from your goal. As you were walking you'd pass people on the same section of path or travel with them, or glide by as they were on one adjoining section and you were on another. I felt it gave me a lot of insight on life and living and relationships.

Finally, and most obscurely, I came to some realizations on relationships. I kind of feel maybe there is such a thing as soul mates. But I don't think a soul mate can be found until you don't really NEED a relationship at all. When you're confident enough in yourself and know your self and your desires and wants and needs and can fulfill them by yourself or through the friends you have, not depending on one single person.

And Finally Finally-- Work hard, play hard. Now I know what playing hard is, maybe I can do better at working hard! Tomorrow we shall see!

I'm so grateful to this past week and all the friends who were there with me!

Modern Gods of Epic Fantasy
(aka The authors who write the best books you'll ever read, aka OMFG they released a book I have to read it cover from cover nonstop RIGHT NOW, aka I have read this book 10^23 times because they're so good and I have to refresh my memory before the next book):

Brandon Sanderson

G R R Martin*

Patrick Rothfuss

Jacqueline Carey

Jim Butcher*

N K Jemisin

*they are only gods when they write epic fantasy. As authors of all other books, they're just minor deities. (List of minor deities forthcoming)

Fallen gods (all fantasy):

Terry Goodkind

Laurell K Hamilton

At first, I thought Brandon Sanderson was simply a fluke of nature. How can a man write a novel that is more than the pure manly epic drivel I occasionally torture myself by reading? You want examples? Tolkien. Terry Brooks. Modesitt. Robert Jordan. The types of fantasy which are swordplay, wars, torturous politics, manly heroes who start as nobodies. But some male authors are finally catching on, I think. They're adding some depth to their main characters, so larger flaws, some actual 3 dimensional women, writing epics that have less to do with war and philosophy and more about richness. Character wealth. After reading their books you see a new light to the world, a feel little more poetry in your head.

There was a glimmer of it in Alan Dean Foster's books. Butcher and Martin write excellent books and they give women much more dimension but they still lack a bit of the sparkle and wonder that show up in the writing of female authors. Then I read Sanderson's books and I had to double check to make sure the author wasn't really a woman. And now there is Rothfuss.

I'm not saying women authors are all wonderful, but the majority of the books I read are by them because they usually make their main characters more identifiable to me. There's a little more beauty in their worlds, a little less pessimism and woe and all that. Granted, there are lots of books by women authors that make me feel like I've been eating nothing but chocolate and ice cream all day. Lackey, for one. No matter how hard she tries the make her heroic challenges, there's always a slight romantic sub plot that competes with every other plot. And don't get me started on Sharon Shinn. I will sum up her works like this: "Oh what a great world and story and ... wait... all that and it was really just a romance??" Anne Bishop. OMG and will someone please take away Laurell K Hamilton's computer!! She has no business writing anymore. What scut.

I should be packing and heading to VA now, so I'll get back to this later I hope.

Issues:

Women want equal pay

People want to decide what women can do with their bodies (prostitution, abortion)

People want to decide who can wed and thus receive benefits from such union

People want to decide what everyone else is allowed to do to their bodies.

Solutions:

1) Government controls everything

2) Government controls nothing

3) Government regulates. Individuals decide.

-- means gov makes sure products are pure, companies do not treat employees unfairly, all people are treated equally with disregard to their gender, health, personal choices. Only steps in when One person is infringing on the rights of another-- taking drugs and driving/abusing dependents/seperating households

Would solve marriage issues: marriage only a religious idea-- when people join households, go to government to create partnership contract which would cover rights and taxes within the relationship, inheritance/hospital visits/insurance/etc

Would solve drug problems-- drugs legalized and purity regulated-- law enforcement would only be needed for impure drug vendors, black market crime would fall, resources used in drug related imprisonment and enforcement could be used for rehab centers.

Solve healthcare issues--

I would like to rant about how much I dislike graduate school, but honestly I only like the research/thesis writing part. The rest has been pretty awesome. Or maybe I've just been enjoying myself more than I was supposed to, which is why the thesis/research is still not done after 3 years. Oops! But really, I hate missing out on fun stuff, and my reason for living is to enjoy myself, and frankly my research isn't all that enjoyable. If I had more guidance, I think it could be, but when I have to figure out 90% of everything on my own since my advisors don't have much of a clue as to what and how I'm doing things, and the only person who does moved to Costa Rica after my first year... I guess self-motivated I am not.